Welcome to My Healing Grove Blog!

A Life Changing Event

There are moments in life that will forever be separated between "before" and "after".   We all have them, some are bigger than others, and sometimes they are a gigantic wake up call.  

On the morning of August 22, 2014,  I had one of those moments when I discovered a lump under my left arm.  A lump that was later diagnosed as Stage II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), or Breast Cancer.  I remember feeling the firm, painless, round, marble sized lump for the first time and all the OMG worries that entered my brain in that moment.  That day also happened to be my husband's birthday, and instead of looking upon that moment as the beginning of doom and gloom, I have chosen to see it as a blessing in disguise.   His birthday and my "lumpday" will forever be intertwined and a cause for the celebration of life, love and new beginnings.

Not that I would ever choose to have breast cancer. Cancer sucks in so many ways and I never want to paint a pretty picture from it.  I have spent the last year reeling from the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery from breast cancer.  I'm feeling much better now, but the emotional toll continues to haunt me.  I'm also grappling with symptoms from a forced menopause, and some other residual pain, physical limitations, and living with a changed body.

However, cancer has taught me many lessons about life and now has me searching for new directions and a better future.  Its my intention to use it as a ladder to climb instead of an anchor pulling me under.  The trajectory of my future forever altered..........in a good way.

The "New Me":  Searching for Wellness

So now, after two biopsies, a unilateral mastectomy, four months of chemotherapy, and 6 weeks of radiation,  I find myself at a crossroads between my "old life" and the "new me".  I don't look the same.  I don't feel the same.  My struggles have taught me many lessons about the importance of health and happiness and it's my goal to become a better, stronger, healthier and much happier me than I was before cancer.  I've always tried to use my challenges that way, and so here I stand at the beginning of this new and exciting chapter of my life.

I wrote the poem below just ten days after my last chemotherapy infusion.  After four months of chemo, it was my lowest point physically and one of my lowest emotionally as well.  I had been without hair since just before my second treatment in early February 2015.  Some of my eyelashes and eyebrows had also fallen out, and my fingernails were very painful, infected and black.  I was weak and tired.  It was a beautiful day in May and I sat outside under the shade of our maple trees and wrote down the poem.  Soaking up the healing power of nature, I could finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  

So come with me, and step inside………..

My Healing Grove

Just steps away from my home,

Is my little grove of maple trees.

As I walk among them, I see their grace.

I listen with my heart, and I hear their poetry.

I feel their energy as it enters my depleted, weak body.

It gives me the power I need to heal.  

I take some time to bask in it it there.  

I touch the trees, embracing their trunks.

And thank the earth and the sun for providing them.

I look up into the green canopy.

The air feels different in the grove.

And the leaves whisper their secrets to me.  

The roots carry wisdom up and through the branches. 

The collective whole is like a healing room

Where I am safe inside.

A resting place for my weary soul to recharge,

My healing grove.